


Girlfriend

by anxiousgeek



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Humour, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-15
Updated: 2008-07-15
Packaged: 2017-10-14 23:30:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousgeek/pseuds/anxiousgeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sleeping on the couch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girlfriend

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this, then re-wrote it. 1165 words.

There was nothing else he could do. He had to kill her. For his own sanity he was going to have to kill her.

His brain laughed out loud at the sheer insanity of those thoughts. He was beyond saving, sanity or otherwise.

He was still pissed though.

Sleeping on the couch, horny and a little hard. Cold and alone.

It wasn’t even his own couch. She’d thrown him out of her bed and he hadn’t even gone home to sleep in his own bed. He’d stuck around in the desperate hope she’d forgive him.

Or at least have angry couch sex with him.

That’s what usually happened.

But now it was almost…..3am and so far no sign of Sam. Angry or otherwise.

She couldn’t actually be asleep. Could she?

He was seriously considering going in there and finding out, but he suspected she’d make him sleep on her couch for a week, maybe even a month. She was just that evil. And while he liked couch sex he knew that’s all he’d be getting. At least when he was in her good books, there was shower sex and kitchen sex and all sorts of other things that you could add sex onto the end of.

She was actually punishing him for real this time. Letting him go cold, alone and horny on her sofa. She had to know he was horny, he was always horny. But still.

He was actually going to have to learn a lesson this time.

Shit he hated learning. He was hoping that now he had Carter by his side 24/7 (more or less) she could do all the thinking.

He tried to think about what he had done but couldn’t really get past the fact that he was still horny and the idea of Sam punishing him was really, really hot.

He groaned in frustration, his hand drifting down his body. He reached into his boxers before snapping his hand away in disgust.

He was no going to stoop to jerking off on her sofa. He should go home and jerk off. No, he should go home and have a cold shower and think about what he had done.

He wasn’t completely sure what he had done though. He was sure Sam would remind him in the morning.

He didn’t think she’d forgive him in the morning though. Not if she was willing to go without sex to punish him.

“Ah screw it.”

He reached back into his boxers and pulled himself out, thinking that if he made a mess of her couch it would only be her own fault.

Though, she’d blame him, but at least she'd think twice before the couch punishment.

The idea of punishment brought up images of Sam in leather. With a whip and chains and he was so hard, so quickly it was ridiculous but she was that hot.

He groaned and started to move his hand, slowly, long slow strokes, a dirty image of his evil girlfriend and he stopped.

Girlfriend.

Fuck.

He opened his eyes and she was stood there, standing in the doorway of her lounge, smirking at him, looooooooong legs appearing from under his t-shirt.

She was so hot.

So he didn’t stop what he was doing.

“You lasted longer than I expected.” She said.

“You were listening?” He groaned as he moved his hand a little faster. It helped having her there.

“Stop it Jack.” She said in a voice that told him he’d being sleeping on the couch for months if he didn’t pull his hand out of his boxers. He put both hands above his head for her to see. “No, I was sleeping but I expected you to have done this by now and be sleeping yourself.”

“Oh.” He tried to clear his head but it was hard. He was hard. “I didn’t think you’d last this long either.”

She ignored that comment and walked over to him, pulling the blankets away. He reached out for her but she slapped his hands away. She straddled him, posistioning herself right over his erection and he groaned when he found she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

So hot.

“Are you really that pissed because I called you my girlfriend?”

“Yes!”

“Why? You are.” Her face flashed with anger, something he felt when she grabbed him roughly.

The pain/pleasure part only spurred his fantasies of evil Carter punishing him in leather. With a whip.

“Because you make it sound so….ugh.”

“Ugh?” She took him inside her and he smirked when he discovered exactly how ready she was.

She so hadn’t been sleeping.

“Yes, ugh.” She mumbled. “It sounds so, nothing. Like I’m just your girlfriend and not the woman you love completely.”

“But you’re both.” He said, his voice turning into a groan when she started to move slowly. “How about I call you my wife? Would that work?”

She stopped momentarily, but carried on, moving slowly, oh god he was so hot.

“That might work. We’d have to get married.”

“We could do that.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay” *oh god* “Let’s get married.”

“Right now?”

“No.”

“Good.” He moved his hands and took hold of her hips thrusting up hard making her cry out.

“You can only use the marriage card once you know, to save your ass.”

“I know, believe me I know.” She tried to laugh but it came out as a moan and she continued to move and he continued to thrust up against her.

“And sex, sex isn’t going to save you every time either.”

“But you’ll still forgive me right?”

“Eventually.”

She was kinda glad she didn’t bring herself off. That her sex drive had been enough to wake her cause, they were getting married, but dam he was going to be so smug in the morning.

“I’m still pissed about the girlfriend thing.”

“But I can come back to bed tomorrow right?”

“Maybe.”

He reached up and took a nipple between his finger and thumb and squeezed just a little.

“What about now?”

“No.” That was definitely a sob.

He stopped suddenly and moved her off him so he could switch positions and lie on top of her, making her moan loudly when he entered her again.

He built up a desperately quick pace, he was so close already, to forgiveness and the whole brain melting thing.

“What about now?”

“No.” Another sob. She was going to push him all the way.

He loved it.

He thrust as hard as he could given the fact they were on the couch and reached between them. He pressed on her clit hard with an ill timed thrust but it was enough to make her cry out, sending her over the edge. Her body jerked against his and pulled him over with her, slamming him into that brain melting place.

“Oh fuck.” He groaned. “Can I come to bed now?”

“Oh yeah.” She mumbled, kissing the top of his head.

“Still wanna marry me?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Cool.”


End file.
